Lately I've been trying to figure God out. Where He's taking me, why He's taking me there...But that was a bust. I think I was trying to put God in a box, limit Him to my understanding. So at the moment I'm not sure where I'm headed, but I know it's where I need to be. But I can't help but feeling like I should know a little more. Should faith feel so blind? Should being found make you feel lost in relation to everything else? This is why I never get anywhere, I second guess everything.
I know a relationship with Christ isn't a passive thing. I know it requires work and effort, but I never know when I'm working and seeking, and when I'm trying to be God, trying to know everything that I don't need to know at the moment. I don't know when to seek and when to wait on His timing.My head always gets in the way, but I know three things for sure...
- In all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. (Romans 8:28)
- When Christ, who is your life, appears, then you also will appear with him in glory. (Colossians 3:4)
- I want to find my purpose in Him, and I want Christ to be my life. My whole life. My everything.
I want to know Christ better than I know any human being. I want to see, know, understand and feel everything that He is. I just have to get it through my thick head that if I look, I'll find Him. If I trust Him, He'll take care of me and He'll take me somewhere great. So, from here on out, I'm living each day on the promise that God wants me to know Him, and that He's seeking me even more than I'm seeking Him. God wants me to fulfill my purpose, God wants me to fall deeper and deeper in love with Him, and He wants me to spend eternity knowing and praising Him.
Um, once again, I'm not sure how to end this, so, yeah....
Hannah. xo.
you are incredible. and i love what you are saying here. it's so true of most people. we don't know exactly what's going on... we know what we need to be doing, but getting into it is the hard part. at least that's the case for me.
ReplyDeleteoh and i am so stoked to hear your testimony. i will share with you as much as i can... as of right now i'm not exactly sure what it is. and also, i think you should know that i'm usually terrible in serious situations, but this means so much to you, that i want you to be able to tell me. and i want to know. so if you don't get the reaction you thought you would, or really any reaction at all... well i guess i'm sorry? haha. i love you a lot. the end.
Thanks. I'm glad to know that was comprehendable. I knew what I wanted to say just not how to say it, but I guess it worked.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, I have no idea how you'll react and I'm really not expecting anything in particular anyway, so it's all good. But yeah, I really feel convicted (that's probably not the best word for it but it's all I can think of) to tell you and Gabi. I'm not sure why, it's not a sad story or anything...I don't know. I guess it's because it's still a work in progress. I don't know. Anyway, I love you and I can't wait to talk to you and Gabi!!